Classic Back Labels

Perhaps one of these will inspire you to Write This

2005 Calaveras County Viognier Just sip one glass and you’ll hear a tale. A tale of a tasteful trip. That started with this Viognier, aboard this winery ship. The mate was a mighty winemaker, the assistant brave and sure. The Twisted Few set sail that day for a winemaking tour, a winemaking tour. The weather started getting rough, the vineyard almost lost. If not for the courage of the cellar crew the flavors would be lost, the flavors would be lost. Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah something something something isle, with coconuts, papayas too. Taste butterscotch, apricots. A touch of oak, the finish and Mary Ann, in this Twisted Oak Wine.
2005 Rosado Here is a little wine you’ll want to stand back and take a long look at - because if you get any closer you’ll singe the hair out of the inside of your nose. Crisp aromas of fetid swamp clash mightily with rotting wood and a playful kerosene note. It has a lively acidity that is best paired with the calcium deposits in your bathtub. A long satisfying finish in the form of chemical burns down the inside of your esophagous round out this honey of a wine. (Sigh. This is the last time we let Uncle Fester write tasting notes..)
2003 Calaveras County Syrah The Twisted Oath: I, state your name, do solemnly swear that I am AT LEAST 21 years of age, I am allowed to cross the street by myself, and I clean up my own messes (mostly). I promise to be faithfully Twisted in thought, word, and deed, without regard to race, color, sex, national origin, personal hygiene, or hairstyle, and will to the best of my ability, uphold this glass, with its aromas of dark berry and leather, plummy flavors and firm tannins before consuming it forthwith.
2004 Calaveras County The Spaniard Made at Twisted Oak by Winemakers Of Unusual Size; this swash-buckling Calaveras blend is so big you’ll need six fingers to hold the glass. It’s inconceivable that one could resist the aromas of black currants and clove spices, the flavors of blueberries and plums and tannins as big as Fezzik himself. This wine will certainly leave you mostly dead. Share it with your special buttercup, a gentle giant, or the entire Kingdom…as you wish.