El Bloggo Torcido - Twisted Oak Winery

W.T.F.

That's all I'm sayin! No posts for some time now, I feel like a virgin again!
Getting back into the game, I will give this this special gift below. Enjoy.

A Whole Lot of Jackass?

Nothing to blog about for days and days, and then suddenly WHAM! I invite you to visit the Los Angeles Times web site for this little opinion piece on "The language of wine snobbery". Let me know when you are finished...

OK, good. This little column has already generated quite a bit of comment around the internets (here's one on Tom Wark's Fermentation, and another on Steve Heimoff's new blog.) I'm finding the strong negative reaction a little surprising, because I rather liked it.

The piece begins with a great hook about "a whole lot of jackass"; indeed, when a writer comes up with a line like that, the first thing they want to do is run out and use it. Kinda like getting a BB gun or a sex change; the excitement must be overwhelming.

The problem is that we have an inflammatory starting line, and as a result everyone is apparently missing an excellent point.

The problem is that so much wine reviewing has devolved into "it smelled like this, and then it tasted like that". Not very expressive use of the language is it? I think this paragraph sums it up nicely:

"And it's not just wine -- or chocolate, tea, coffee and olive oil -- where the language is now exactly the same. Movie critics, book reviewers and television writers have all become 6-year-olds telling me everything that happened on an episode of "SpongeBob" -- wasting paragraph after paragraph impersonally recounting plot, as if my sole goal as a reader is to glean just enough to get into arguments at wine-tasting parties."

The point being: "I want to know that a Zinfandel, our greatest native grape, tastes like America: big, bold, unsubtle and ready to fight." Do you really care whether it smells like tobacco or instead smells like cedar? What about how it makes you feel?

One of the best reviews I've seen of our wines, in the San Francisco Chronicle, said that our 2006 Verdelho was "...a ballerina in steel-toed boots." I'll take a review like that any day.

(Illustration above from Chateau Petrogasm, a little ironic poke at Mr. Wark, which I sincerely hope he appreciates.)

Take Your Rubber Chicken on Vacation, Part ???

Speaking of favorite people, our favoritest Historian and snow globe collector Judith Marvin (if you ever need to know anything about California or Calaveras history, she's your gal!) just got back from a trip to Turkey. And because she brought her genuine Twisted Oak Rubber Chicken with her, she made it into Sunday's San Francisco Chronicle "Just Back From" section - an extract:

I went because: To sail the Lycian (Turquoise) Coast, visit historical and archaeological sites in Istanbul, Ephesus, Antalya and Cappadocia.

Don't miss: Swimming, snorkeling and kayaking in the bays and lagoons on the Lycian Coast, and hiking around Goreme.

Don't bother: Dressy clothing.

Coolest souvenir: A Whirling Dervish snowglobe; taken away from me in the airport, as it was deemed that the liquid was planned for something dastardly.

Worth a splurge: Antique Turkish carpets.

I wish I'd packed: More rubber chickens.

When you are packing for your summer vacation, be sure to pack plenty of rubber chickens! And send us a picture! Like this one!

Is This Thing On?

Testing... 1... 2... 3... I remember the first rock concert I ever went to. Before it started there was apparently some sort of trouble with the sound. We found ourselves being regaled by this burned-out roadie with a British accent shouting "one... TWO! ...TWO! ...TWO! ....one ...TWO! ...TWO!" This went on for about 20 minutes.

Been feeling a bit like a burned-out roadie myself with regards to blogging. Amazing how easy it is to fall off this horse! So, I'm getting back on with a couple of quick posts. First up: our favoritest-ever vineyard manager, Mark "Marco" Skenfield, celebrated the proverbial Big Four Oh at Twisted Oak last night. Here are a few of the pictures I took... You'll perhaps notice that there was an 80's theme... If you want to see more, you can find them on my Facebook page.

Above: Is Marco trying to be the "A-ha" guy or George Michael? Below: You may recognize Matt Hatcher of Hatcher Winery below. Or not.

Below: We'll just call that "Dueling Madonnas"...

Want to touch the Oak?

..........Oh yeah! come on over Baby. To Black Oak Casino! Here's a reminder that the Seven Twisted Sisters Winemaker Dinner is on the horizon. Thursday, June 12th starting @ 6:30pm until.....whenever they kick us out! :) JK. Space is limited, hell I am not even sure if we still have room! If you want to be a part of this Oaky fun-ness, then call (for a good time) 209-928-9363.  Tall dude, the Queen, Fermento and Myself will all be attending. If that isn't a better reason than the wine/food combination, well......you need to get your priorities straight!

Harlot ~ Out

Twisted Sable Bird ~ Saturday

Yes....sable.
The Draegers Market located in Black Hawk (Danville) is hosting one of many Saturday afternoon tastings. Yours truly will be in "da hood" from 2pm to 5pm pouring some tasty treats. You can expect to taste some wines located in Draegers and a few others available by request that will come straight from the mother ship. I am offering free shipping on 6 packs anywhere in the state! Tasting fees are minimal so come out and see the Harlot and the awesome crew at Draegers Black Hawk.

See you there!
Harlot ~ Out

The Great Wine Blogging Lull of 2008

I don't know if you've noticed but there has been a definite slowdown in overall wine blogging volume the last several days. Was it simple Spring (Vern?) Fever? Or perhaps mourning for the fruit destroyed by the frost last month?

Whatever the reason, this post is a small attempt to snap out of the doldrums and get on with it. To that end, here is an assortment of dates to save...

Save the Date! On July 4th, Twisted Oak will commemorate its Fifth Anniversary of being open for business. To celebrate this, we're going to bury some meat! Don't worry, it will all be quite delicious, because we'll be using the pit barbecue we broke in last September. And it will be extra delicious because we will be opening up the library and pouring every wine we made since 2002! (Well, at least every wine we still any bottles of - and if you still have any of the 2002 Viognier, please contact me!) Details on the web site!

Save the Date! If you can't get enough Twisted on Fourth of July weekend, and you are one of those people that likes to get up early and run 10 miles up hill both ways, please come and join us July 6th for the 21st Annual Hernia Hill at Twisted Oak! (It's their 21st running, but our first to host!) There will be a 5K, 10K, and Half-Marathon. Makes me tired just typing it! Details on the web site!

Save the Date! August 16th! Cave Loot Extravaganza! Need I say more? How about "oysters"? Details (where else) on the web site!