El Bloggo Torcido - Twisted Oak Winery

Yes, We Have No...

We have great news for you! You don't need a dinosaur, just a rubber chicken!

Enter Take Your Rubber Chicken To Work Week by March 30th!

(yet another random vintage photo)

How Not to Enter Take Your Rubber Chicken To Work Week

1. He's sitting in the Boss' chair.

2. He's not smoking in the designated smoking area (which is usually next to the freeway.)

3. That chicken doesn't look very rubbery.

Can you spot any other problems? Remember to enter by March 30th!

(random vintage photo found randomly)

Take Your Rubber Chicken To Work Week FAQ #4

Q: I don't have a job, what do I do?

A: As the song says "Get a haircut, and get a real job!" If that doesn't work, or you are retired, or you are hairless, it's time for plan B. Here are some Helpful (Twisted) Hints:

• Borrow a job: I'm not suggesting you pretend to be someone else and go to their job - I think they tried that on "I Love Lucy" and Lucy got in big trouble. But you could just visit a friend and have some surprise rubber chicken fun.
• Charity work: Do you volunteer for some good cause? Take your rubber chicken the next time you volunteer and make it an even better cause.
• Go hunting: For a job, we mean. And take your rubber chicken with you. Some of our best entries in past years have been built around the job hunt (see above).
• Stay at home Mom or Dad? Most important job in the world! (No really!) Take your rubber chicken along during your parental activities, you might be amazed at how useful a rubber chicken can be.
• Or, just do something. Really. We're just looking for funny pictures of rubber chickens.

Remember, the deadline for entering TYRCTWW is March 30th!

(photo by 2008 TYRCTWW finalist John Potter) 

Take Your Rubber Chicken To Work Week FAQ #3

Q: I don't have rubber chicken! What do I do? Oh, the humanity!

A: Don't panic! Sit down and I'll explain. Rubber chickens are a common pet toy (why shouldn't Fido also have a laugh now and then?) and are available wherever pet supplies are sold - even at Tar-jay and W-W-W-Walmart.

Or, you can order an original recipe Twisted Oak rubber chicken here, just $6.95 postpaid.

There are a few valid excuses for not entering TYRCTWW, but lack of personal rubber poultry just isn't one of them.

(photo by 2010 TYRCTWW finalist Brad Taylor)

Take Your Rubber Chicken To Work Week FAQ #2

Q: What is the best way to submit my photos or video?

A: I must have your email address to award a prize, so naturally the best way is by email to tastingroom@twistedoak.com. Attach the file(s) to the email, and send more than one email if you need to.

You may of course instead post your pictures to Facebook, You Tube, Flickr, or whatever tickles your fancy (but please, don't send pictures of you tickling your fancy with a rubber chicken) (unless of course it's your job to tickle fancies with a rubber chicken) (you know, something like that could go viral) (just saying).

But wherever you do put your stuff, please send me an email pointing me at it. I don't want to miss your entry!

(photo by 2010 TYRCTWW finalist Lori Hoffman)

Take Your Rubber Chicken To Work Week FAQ #1

Q: My rubber chicken is already at work! Should I bring it home?

A: Absolutely not. Clearly your rubber chicken has already been integrated into your workaday routine. Show us how your Rubber Chicken Friday helps you in your workplace!

(photo by 2010 finalist Allyson Griffie)

Take Your Rubber Chicken To Work Week 2011!

Take Your Rubber Chicken To Work Week starts now and ends March 30th. Yes, we know that isn't really a week. Heck, it's not even a fortnight. We just want to give you plenty of time to find a job (or borrow a friend's job) and come up with an entry. Really. Plenty of time.

Ready to go? Just a few simple rules:

1. Go to work, and take your rubber chicken with you. (This seems obvious, doesn't it?)
2. The rubber chicken(s) (you may take more than one) must be made of some rubber-like compound (does it stretch a little? bingo!) and must look like a chicken (absolutely no *%#&@! duckies!) It does not have to be a Twisted Oak Original Recipe Rubber Chicken.
3. Take pictures or video of your rubber chicken at work. Pro tip: One good picture is more likely to win than 50 average pictures. Please just send your best. (We also reserve the right to select a few of your many for the voting.) Another hint: FOCUS!
4. Send us your high resolution photo(s) or video (email tastingroom@twistedoak.com), or post them up someplace and send us an email telling us where they are. (Hint: if you post them, make sure they are publicly accessible! You may even choose to post them on the wall of the Twisted Oak Facebook page: http://www.facebook.com/twistedoak)
5. You have until March 30th to send us your entry. We will acknowledge your entry. If you don't hear back from us in a day or two, panic.
6. Fabulous prizes will be awarded as compensation for the best photos and videos submitted. The Twisted Judges will select a number of semifinalists, and a winner will be chosen by public vote. If there is a tie in the final voting the winner will be chosen by Twisted Oak Winery staff. Hey, it could happen.
7. Submissions will be judged for humor, originality, humor, creativity, humor, and technique. Did we mention humor?
   
8. You must be 21 years or older to enter.
9. By sending your photos or videos to Twisted Oak, you agree to let us publish them on our various and sundry web sites and publish them in any printed matter. We don't expect this permission to be exclusive, and we can't and won't transfer that permission to anyone else without asking you first. And when we do publish your photos and/or videos, we will always give you full credit. That's forever.
10. Twisted Oak Winery reserves the right to disqualify any entry that does not meet the spirit of the event, is a no-no where you live, or does not follow the rules. We also reserve the right to disqualify any votes that are determined to constitute ballot stuffing. Play nice!
11. Twisted Oak Winery is not responsible for any loss of employment that may result from your efforts. However, Twisted Oak Winery is also not responsible for any promotions or pay raises you might receive. That's all yours, baby!

And the prizes? All qualified entries will receive a $10 MasterCluck gift card, which can be used to order wine online at twistedoak.com. Finalists will receive a $75 MasterCluck gift card, and the winning entry will receive a $250 MasterCluck gift card!

Questions? Email tastingroom@twistedoak.com

(2010 winning photo by Liz Pope, USAF)

Anatomy of a New Viognier

Put away your scalpels and close the formaldehyde! The 2010 Viognier is ready for you, in a spuzzy new package and everything - so with the help of some Disembodied Rubber Chicken Heads*, let's dissect this puppy**:

A (that would be the DRCH with the letter "A" in it): Topping things off is an easy-access twist-off cap, thus averting the need to use a smelly shoe or pointed stick to open your wine if you forget your corkscrew.

B: A snappy new front label! Now anyone, including nearsighted vintners, can spot a bottle of Twisted Goodness from clear across the room. And there is our lovely signature Twisted Oak, front and center. And by popular demand, a vintage date!

C: Inside the bottle is 100% Viognier from Jim Dalton's vineyard, located outside of Angels Camp off Dogtown Road (the same vineyard that produces the Mourvedre for the River of Skulls). This 2010 Viognier represents the last vintage harvested before Jim passed away last fall at a much too early age. Please raise a glass of this Viognier to Jim when you get a chance.

D: Now every back label sports the Calaveras County appellation. Everything locally grown, baby!

E: A new feature of the back label: a QR code. What, you might ask (and rightly might you ask) is a QR code? A QR code is a lot like a regular bar code (see H below) but it can hold a lot more information - in this case it contains the web page address for this Viognier. And, you can scan a QR code using almost any "smart" phone that has a camera and the application that supports it. (On an iPhone you have to install the application - here is my favorite free scanner that works pretty well - but on an Android based phone I am told it is built in.) You can even scan it from the screen right now - try it!

F: Famous Twisted Oak witty label copy. No florid frou frou prose here. Feel free to sing along!

G: G is for Gummint. You'll notice that a large chunk of the label consists of content required by the government. Put down the heavy machinery and no one gets pregnant. Or something like that.

H: The good old fashioned UPC bar code we all grew up with. Our Viognier has the distinction of being our code number 00001, since Viognier was the first wine released from our first (2002) vintage. The same bar code is used for all vintages, that's how the stores roll.

I: That is the AVIN number, which is a new ISBN-like numbering system for wines. Each wine and vintage has a different AVIN number. This is supposed to help positively identify each wine and vintage, if that's important to you. I had room at the bottom and thought, what the heck, I'll help out.

So there you have it. The 2010 Viognier is now on sale at both tasting rooms, online, and should start showing up in stores very soon. If you try it and like it, please consider posting a review on our Twisted web site. Have fun!

* No rubber chickens were harmed in the making of this blog post.

** No puppies either. Jeez.